Again, no [AD&D and me] post today. It’s not a project that’s dropping, though. The vision is to post something new every Wednesday night, with [AD&D and me] being a continuing series. It won’t be here every week, but it will be here. I’m quite looking forward to writing about it again next week, in fact. Mostly I didn’t write it because I was at Geek Girl Con all weekend, and today I both started a new job and had to prep to run Apocalypse World.
Which brings me to what I want to talk about. We’re set to have our 9th session of an ongoing Apocalypse World game. I sent out an email last week to the crew letting them know that I want to wrap the game up in the next 3-4 sessions. In a lot of ways, it feels like the game could go on for much longer than that, but some long-standing conflicts between the characters and their little society are coming to a head, and hitting the climax of those seems like a good place to close the game.
Plus, I, as GM, am just kind of ready to move on. I’ve greatly enjoyed this game. We’ve had a hiccup here & there, but for the most part we’re all really into the game and have a collaboratively creative vibe going on. But man, I just. Maybe I have ADD? Maybe it would help if the game was every week instead of every other week?[1] I feel ready to put this one to bed and move on, but at the same time I don’t want to just drop it–I really want to come to an ending.
The last Apocalypse World game I ran went 7 sessions. There was no ending, and it was my fault as the GM. I just said, “look, guys, I don’t have it in me to finish this one. I want to be done with it.” I think I’m eager to wrap this current game up soon because I don’t want to repeat that failure. I want to finish it, and finish it well, but if we went on for 10 more sessions, or even 5, I can see myself hitting that point again.
Which brings me to the question: How does one GM something long term? In large part, I’m not that interested in GMing (or even having a PC) in a game for a super long time. There are a lot of games on my shelf and for the vast majority I’d be happy playing them for 3-4 sessions, or playing multiple one-session games. Apocalypse World, though, and especially Burning Wheel, are different. I can see myself having a PC in a Burning Wheel game and playing that for a year, maybe more. But GMing a Burning Wheel game for that long? Maybe. I haven’t GMed Burning Wheel so I don’t know, but I suspect and fear that I’d get back into this antsy place where I’m ready for the game to end.
Maybe it’s because in these last two games I haven’t had much of a creative vision as GM. I mean, while we’re playing, I’m excited about what’s happening, and I deeply enjoy throwing things at the PCs and forcing them to make difficult decisions. But in Apocalypse World, for example, Fronts & Threats have left me mostly cold. I’ve enjoyed coming up with them, and I feel like the stuff I prep is fairly creative, but it’s been a while since I’ve come into a session thinking, “I can’t wait to see what they do with this!” I know I’m not supposed to prep a story in AW (and lord knows I don’t want to), but I feel like I’m lacking some sort of overarching vision or direction for the game and the PCs that might give me some fire in my belly.
Or, I don’t know. Maybe I just want to sit in the PC-controller’s chair for a while. When I read Apocalypse World or Burning Wheel, the thing that gets my heart pumping (mostly) is imagining a character and wanting that character to be put in tough situations. I want to have to make difficult decisions and find out who I am when I have to pass through the fire. Being the person that puts the characters and my friends in that fire is fun, and I do enjoy that. But so far it hasn’t been a sustainable enjoyment. Around 6 or so sessions in I can feel myself wanting to move on.
Have you ever felt the same? How do you feel about GMing now? Let’s talk.
[1] As much as the next person, I’m busy. We all do other things. But really, I want to push hard for the next multiple-session game I play to happen every week. Perhaps it’s just wishful thinking, but I imagine the momentum and imaginative consistency of a weekly game would help a lot with my problem of long-term GMing. I should say that I’ve never played a weekly long-term game, and in fact this so-far-8-session AW game is the longest one I’ve ever played, or tied for it.
Little Plastic People 
savagehominid
October 12, 2011
I have issues the same issues when I GM.
Apocalypse World doesn’t do much for me as an MC. The implied setting never spoke to me, the fronts/threats saw little use when I ran. I just didn’t care about this place, I’d rather just have either played or ran a balls-to-the-wall action movie (which I basically did, until I ran out of steam).
I have to be enticed by a setting to care about the situation, the pcs decisions, and the npcs. That is where my creative outlet lies. The interactions, and changing situation of something I care about. If I can’t sink my teeth into a setting, the game will probably end up falling flat (or I will just burn out from being an entertaining monkey).
I’ve been chomping at the bit to run something big. I have a few settings I want to see shaken up (and outlines on rules modifications for theBurning Wheel based ones), because damn it! There is something special when a GM firing on all cylinders, lays a world bare, gives the players a knife and sits backs, calmly asks…”so what are you going to do?”
Hans Chung-Otterson
October 13, 2011
Actually, after tonight’s Apocalypse World game, I’m wondering if my problems aren’t mostly summed up with the fact that more time between games is usually bad. We had a stunningly good game tonight, even though we are wrapping it up (because we are wrapping it up?).
Perhaps when we go weeks without playing my mind just begins to naturally wander and it feels like work to think about the game again? Because whenever we actually play, it’s really good and I’m excited all over again.
I’m going to second my own thought and say that I REALLY want my next game to be weekly, if only for the contrast so I can see if time is really my main issue.
Although I have had the same issue, Justin, where the characters/situation leave me kinda cold and I don’t have passion about what to do with it. I’m not feeling that with this game, now, though.
John Harper
October 16, 2011
All of my long-running games have been weekly (including a 30+ session AW game). For me, the weekly schedule is perfect for holding my interest without burning me out too fast.